Psychological manipulators can be difficult to identify. If you grew up being manipulated, then you’re used to it, which makes it harder to recognize it as bad behavior. But even if you’re new to manipulation, it can be difficult to decipher because the manipulators themselves are difficult.
They cover their misbehavior with words that are pleasant or reasonable, or cleverly employ guilt or sympathy. This type of psychological manipulation makes you discard your instincts because either the forms of these people confuse you, or worse, because you think it’s your fault, or that everything is in your head.
5 signs of psychological manipulation that you should be alert
5 signs of psychological manipulation. To help you better detect if it happens:
1. They like to handle guilt
Psychological manipulators are outstanding in playing the victim . They always have a new dose of guilt ready to get it out. These people will say almost anything to get things their way – especially if they see a sensitive and caring individual. Example: “You’re right, we do not need a new car. I do not deserve new things anyway, because I am a horrible person. ” Then they wait for you to fall and change your mind.
Do not buy your game and remind him that he is an adult and must know how to handle his decisions. Do not let them intimidate you to feel sorry for them.
While it may seem like an innocent (or unpleasant) mood, sarcasm is, for the psychological manipulator, a clever way of making you feel inferior . It is not a direct insult, but it is equally insulting. They will try to make you feel insecure under the guise of cheerful humor. They make fun of your style of clothing, your flaws (as they perceive it), and everything else that can end in a joking nature. Example: “Good parking job out there, Buddy!” Or “How nice of you to honor us with your presence!”
If this bothers you, let the manipulator know that your comments make you uncomfortable. If they continue to disrespect you, ignore your comments in the best way possible or lose contact with them.
This type of manipulator will raise your voice to demand full attention in them. They will especially use this technique if the other person remains calm. They want a reaction and both children and adults exhibit this behavior. When they are in a bad mood, everyone knows it, and the manipulator is expert enough to make everyone feel it, too, to the point where others feel obliged to fix the bad mood and attend to the demands of the manipulator.
Above all, stay calm. If you match your demands, you have won your manipulative game . Do not give him what he wants. If you can not stay calm, just go.
4. Experts in all
This helps the manipulator to emanate a sense of intellectual superiority. Very often they pretend to be an expert in almost every field. If you mention that you have almost been bitten by a snake, they will probe facts, often with the phrase, “most people do not know this, but …” They will proceed to tell you all about snakes. If you change the subject to something else, for example, buying a house, they also know everything there is to know about that topic. They want to feel important so they will look for any opportunity to make the light of the conversation shine on them.
Use your best judgment here. These people hog the conversation, so be careful. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to politely get up and leave the room.
5. They share too much
While sometimes their motives are pure, due to social discomfort or a real need for someone to talk to, beware of those who share too much. This person skips a few steps from what is recognized as normal social protocol. They do this to make you feel special: they have chosen you to enter into the most precious and vulnerable parts of your life. But be careful: they may be trying to pressure you into doing the same thing as them, too.
This person wants to make you feel like your new best friend or friend, but it really has little to do with you and your needs. Their intention is not only to make you feel sorry for them, but also to make you feel, that you are responsible for their feelings. The more people they can get to feel sorry for them, the better.
Do not play your game. This means refraining from saying things like “oh, this must be hard for you.” If you have to say something, just say “ok”. Then ignore them or stay away.